Trigger Read online

  I picked up my smartphone and called Jack, who was always up for going out.

  “Dude,” Jack said by way of greeting.

  “Hey, man. Do you know what you’re doing this Thursday?”

  “I’m getting laid?”

  “Maybe later. But first you’re coming with me to the open mike at Bliss Art House.”

  Nina

  I was standing close to the stage at the Bliss Art House Cafe, waiting for the guy who was on to finish his set of stand-up comedy. He was talking about his experiences as a dad of four, completely bringing down the house. The crowds couldn’t get enough of him and his material, laughing so hard I was sure I could sense the floor under me moving. Or maybe that was because my legs had turned into overcooked pasta, barely holding me up. I was feeling so sick and weak I had to grab the back of a chair not to fall to the ground. My stomach roiling, I closed my eyes and took long, slow breaths to calm myself, push away the dizziness that threatened to overtake me. You can do it, Nina. You can do it. It’ll be fine. They’ll love you.

  The applause thundered through the dark space and the daddy comic walked by me with a big grin on his face and gave me a pat on the back on the way.

  “All yours, honey.”

  While listening to the MC telling the audience to give it up one more time for Pete Adams—which they happily did—I thought I would faint my stage fright had gotten so bad. There was nothing worse having to go on stage this late in the evening, and especially not when the performer before you had killed. The crowd had likely peaked and was tired. I had long since learned that an audience could only handle so much entertainment. The best time to go on was toward the middle of the evening’s performances, and my spot was the second to the last. In addition to the poor timing, I doubted this audience would be into my material, no matter what I was trying to convince my brain. The material I was trying out was not like Pete Adams’s. It was a lot edgier, bound not to do well with more uptight crowds. I had no choice but to go on now, though. Hopefully, if I opened by spinning off of Pete’s act, used my stand-up skills, I’d win them over. Listening to the MC introducing me, I took one last breath and forced my legs to take me forward, out onto the brightly lit stage.

  “….let’s give it up for Nina Tyler, folks!”

  I shook hands with the rangy black MC, took the mic from his hand and turned toward the audience, a wide smile pasted on my face. Meeting the eyes of the audience members closest to the stage, I fired off:

  “God, am I happy my pregnancy test this morning came out negative!”

  The crowd exploded with laughter. I exhaled and waited till they were done laughing before I added, “After listening to that poor guy, I’m seriously considering having my tubes tied.” More laughter. “Birth control is not cheap and, I swear, it makes me fat. I guess I could always stop having sex, but that’s not an option. Because I’m actually Russian. And we Russians need sex as much as we need our vodka. Preferably every day.”

  The audience kept laughing. Confidently, I went on, “Yeah, I know my surname—Tyler—doesn’t sound so Russian. That’s because it’s only my stage name. And it’s a lot easier to say than my real surname: Kapylyushnya Dresyianina.” I took a beat, waiting for the laughter to subside. “When I tell people I was born in Russia, I often hear, ‘is it true that bears walk on the streets there every day?’ to which I usually respond—of course not, silly! Only when the bears are drunk. Otherwise, they stay in the woods.’”

  The audience applauded as well as laughed hard.

  “Though, it is true that it’s really cold in Russia. And really, really dark. Especially if you wear a fur hat that’s a few sizes too large.”

  I waited for the audience to settle down. Then I continued.

  “Yes, we Russians like our vodka and sex. So giving up on sex is not an option for a Russian-American girl like myself. I have to say I’ve never quite understood why some American-American women feel the need to fake orgasms. Personally, if a guy can’t make me come, I’ll just kick him out of bed.” The audience broke into an earth-shattering laughter that I took advantage of by making an angry face and screaming to no one special: “Go take some lessons!”

  I looked down at the chuckling audience and winked at them, feeling great that my tough-girl stage persona and new material was going over so well with this crowd after all. “Then again, I should be lucky I’m dealing with American men, not Russian. If I did such a thing to a Russian man, I’d end up in a Gulag somewhere in Siberia! Wishing that I still had my too-large fur hat…”

  More laughter and applause.

  “God bless America and American men. But if a single gal like me wants to be asked out on a date, she better be quiet about the fact that she’s Russian. Trust me, I know. The second that fact leaves my mouth, guys grab hold of their wallets and pretend like they have to be somewhere. I swear, it’s as if we Russian chicks will telepathically suck money out of their wallets…. Ah, stereotypes, stereotypes…. I gotta admit that I love the one when people tell me, ‘it’s so hard to believe you’re Russian, Nina. Russians are so abrasive. You’re so sweet and nice!’ Upon which I usually respond: ‘What the fuck do you mean I’m so sweet and nice, you fucking asshole!!!??’”

  The audience could barely stop laughing. As I was about to open my mouth to add on to my last joke, I looked straight into a pair of beautiful, familiar turquoise eyes.

  Dylan

  It was only when she spotted me that I was able to stop laughing finally. This girl was great. Then again, after having gotten to know her a little, it shouldn’t surprise me. She was definitely something else.

  I wished I had remained unnoticed, however. Detecting me in the audience seemed to throw her off, because she began to lose her edge. When her time was over, the audience had turned lukewarm and she left the stage on a mediocre note. Fuck. Jack and I should have taken a seat much farther away from the stage. What the hell had I been thinking? Answer: I hadn’t.

  “What the fuck happened?” Jack said. “It’s like she became a whole other person. She was pretty damn good there at first.”

  “Yeah, she was,” I said through gritted teeth. If I’d worried she’d be unhappy to see me before, I was sure she’d barely talk to me now. Well, I would at least try since I was already there. I finished my vodka soda and stood up.

  “Where are you going?” Jack glanced up at me. “There’s one more act.”

  “I know. I just really need to go to the john. I’ll be back.”

  I turned my back to my buddy and walked toward the bar between the stage and the exit, close to all the tables where the audience sat. I’d seen the other performers walk by there after finishing their sets, some still hanging in that area. I hoped Nina would be there, too.

  I sat on one of the barstools, as far away from the girl with the red lips, the heavy eye makeup and skin so pale she looked like a vampire as I could manage. Her face had lit up a little too much at the sight of me approaching.

  I had finished my drink by the time Nina finally appeared, wearing a different, much sexier outfit than the black, non-descript top and skirt she’d worn on stage. She stopped mid-step when she discovered me. I stared at her where she stood dressed in that jean mini-skirt, cowboy boots and a sheer blouse. God, she’s hot. I swallowed, feeling myself harden despite that she looked anything but happy to see me again.

  The vampire-like girl got to her feet, looking straight at Nina. “Hey, girlfriend. You were like killing and then everything just changed. What happened?”

  “Yeah, I know,” Nina said. “It absolutely effing sucked! I got a cramp all of a sudden. That time of the month.”

  “Really?” The other girl looked like she didn’t believe Nina. But Nina didn’t pay her any attention any longer. She had turned her attention back to me instead, her eyes dark with an emotion I couldn’t figure out.

  “Hi Dylan,” she said, her voice tight. “Fancy seeing you here… Didn’t know you attended open mikes.”


  I got to my feet. “Hi Nina. I have a friend who’s singing here tonight, so I came to support him. He was on earlier. And then my buddy and I decided to stay for the rest of the show.”

  “Oh,” Nina said, her eye brows lifting, suggesting she doubted my truthfulness. I couldn’t say that I blamed her. My lie had been pretty lame. But not so lame it couldn’t actually be the truth. So I’d stick to it.

  “Anyway, I’m glad I stayed since I got to see you,” I added. “You were great.”

  “Yeah. Until I wasn’t.” Nina huffed and her dark eyes flashed.

  The other girl was looking back and forth between us. “You two know each other?”

  “Barely,” Nina said coolly.

  Vampire-girl extended a hand in my direction. “Hi! I’m Ricki, Nina’s best friend.”

  Smiling, I shook her hand. I was glad she was there, softening the tension with her chattiness. “I’m Dylan.”

  “My best friend. Until now,” Nina said, but it didn’t sound like she meant it. Maybe she isn’t as pissed at me as I feared. Before I lost the sudden burst of confidence that filled me, I said, “Did you get my email? I’m sorry it took such a long time before I contacted you.”

  “Yes, I got it,” Nina said.

  “Um, should I leave you two alone?” Ricki said. “I’m getting the feeling I’m in the middle of something I shouldn’t be.”

  “No,” Nina said at the same time as I said, “That might be good.”

  Looking like she didn’t know what to do at first, Ricki finally said to Nina, “I’ll be right outside if you need me.” She raised her phone in a salutation, nodded to me and left.

  And then it was only the two of us.

  “Why are you here?” Nina said. She narrowed the distance between us to only a few steps. “I don’t buy that you came here to see a friend.”

  I sighed. No point in lying any longer. “Okay, I didn’t. I came because I wanted to talk to you. I found you on Facebook and saw that you were gonna perform here tonight. Why didn’t you respond to my email?”

  “I didn’t think it was a good idea.”

  “Why not? Why did you leave my apartment like that? What did I do?”

  “Nothing.” She glanced down at the floor.

  “Nothing? Then why did you leave? I thought we were having a great time. Well, I was.”

  She met my eyes. “We were having a great time. And then I wasn’t.”

  “Can we talk about it?”

  Nina looked away. “What’s the point of that? I somehow doubt you and I have much to say to each other. We’re only good together in bed. Actually, not even that.”

  “Well, we’re talking right now, aren’t we? I think we should at least have another date. A real date. You know, with dinner.” I took a step closer to her, sensing that she didn’t altogether disagree with my suggestion. “Nina, please let me take you out for dinner. I’d really like to get to know you a little better.”

  She met my gaze again. It was all I could do not to kiss her right then, I wanted her that badly. “I’m sorry,” she said, “but I can’t.” And then she turned around and left.

  Nina

  When I caught up with Ricki in the parking lot outside Bliss, my heart was still hammering in my chest. I felt strange, as though I had killed on stage tonight, high on endorphins and feet feather-light, at the same time as cold sweat coated my face and a sensation of not being able to breathe properly had spread within me.

  Ricki was staring at me with that stern expression so typical of hers, fists on hips.

  “Okay, who the hell is that hot boy? Spill everything from the beginning right now, girlfriend!” But then she must have noticed my weird state of mind because her features softened and worry creased her forehead.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Did something bad happen in there?”

  I shrugged, not knowing how to answer that question. Had something bad happened? I wasn’t sure. I just knew that all kinds of emotions were shooting through me, bad ones, good ones, unsettling ones, exhilarating ones.

  “Nina? Are you okay?” Ricki grabbed my arm.

  I don’t know what happened then, but suddenly tears filled my eyes and I was crying.

  Ricki looked distraught. “Okay, what the hell did he do to you?”

  I wiped at the tears with the heel of my hand. “He didn’t do anything.”

  Ricki put a protective arm around my shoulders and led me to her car. “Come on. Let’s go to Mel’s and talk. We’ll leave your car here and you can pick it up later.”

  We drove over to the famous 24-hour diner and took a seat in an empty booth, none of us saying a word. After we had ordered salads and Diet Cokes, the tears on my cheeks had dried and I was feeling almost like normal again. I had a long sip of my soda, and then I decided I was ready to talk about it.

  “It’s that guy I went out with when you came to pick me up in the Hollywood Hills,” I said. “The one who freaked me out.”

  Ricki’s red-painted mouth dropped open. “Really? What a coincidence!”

  I scoffed. “It wasn’t a coincidence. He lied about having a friend perform at Bliss. He only came to see me. He found me on Facebook and saw my post about tonight.”

  “He did? Wow. He must be really into you to seek you out like that…”

  “Yeah. And he must also be a stalker.” But even as I said those words, I didn’t feel like they contained much truth. Dylan just didn’t strike me as a stalkery kinda guy.

  “I don’t think that guy’s a stalker,” Ricki said, putting words to my thoughts. “People use that word way too loosely. I mean, how long ago was it that you had that date with him? Two weeks ago or something?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And how many times in that time has he tried to contact you?”

  “He emailed me once.”

  Ricki nodded. “Right. I remember that he said something about an email… If he was a stalker, you’d have heard and seen from him a lot more. What did the email say?”

  I shrugged again. “Basically, he just wanted to apologize if he did something to freak me out. And make sure I was okay.”

  “That’s all?”

  “Pretty much. He also said that he enjoyed our night together very much.”

  “Definitely not a stalker. And what did you reply?”

  “I didn’t.”

  Ricki looked shocked. “You didn’t? Why not? The guy was just trying to be nice.”

  I stared into my Diet Coke. Ricki was right; Dylan had just tried to be nice. And I had to admit that part of me had been happy to see him again tonight. The part that hadn’t freaked out when I discovered him in the audience.

  “I’m not sure,” I said. “I guess I just felt it was best if we didn’t have any more contact.”

  “Oh. What did you guys talk about after I left?”

  “Not much. He just wanted to know why I freaked out like that and if he could make it up to me by taking me to dinner. He wants to get to know me better.”

  A smile spread over Ricki’s lips. “Aw, that’s so sweet!” As though she remembered something, the smile deflated. “And that made you so upset you cried?”

  I shook my head, even more confused now at my emotional reaction. “I guess.”

  Ricki screwed up her face. “You know what I think? I think you freaked out that night because you like him like crazy. I mean, it’s obvious you guys are totally into each other.” She nodded to herself. “Yes, that weird reaction probably has to do with your life history. Not to be rude, but having watched your mom being dumped to left and right, it’s not strange you’re dead scared of getting close to a guy. You know, falling in love, like we normal girls want to do. Getting married and having kids and stuff like that.” She paused, as if catching herself. “Well, most of us definitely want that first part at least. What do you think?”

  I thought about Ricki’s words for a long moment and I couldn’t help but admit that she did have a point. I exhaled. “Yeah, you might be r
ight.”

  Dylan

  “Another one?” Jack said, an incredulous grin playing on his lips. “I thought you said you had to get up early.”

  “I do,” I replied and waved over the bartender with my hand that contained my Amex. We had stayed at Bliss after the show was over to have drinks at the bar there. “But it doesn’t matter. I feel like partying tonight. It’s been a while.”

  Jack chuckled and ran a hand through his floppy mop of blond surfer hair. “Sounds good to me, man.” Being a talent scout, Jack didn’t have to get up early.

  When the bartender came over, I ordered two double vodka sodas. I needed to squelch the disappointment that had settled in my stomach like a huge slab of wet cement. Only a fair amount of alcohol had the power to make it go away, and I wanted it to go away as quickly as possible. After I felt better, I’d take Jack to a strip club and watch hot, naked chicks dance for me, take my mind away from both Nina and Emma. Remind myself that women were best enjoyed from a distance.

  The bartender came over with the drinks. Grabbing one, I raised it in a cheer.

  “To us,” I said, forcing a grin onto my face. “May we be buddies forever!”

  Jack brought his glass to mine, clinking it so hard I thought for a second it had broken. Fortunately, it hadn’t.

  “Hell, yeah, dude,” Jack said and chugged his drink. I swallowed my own in one gigantic gulp. The alcohol warmed my stomach, diluted the misery that had taken root there to the point it was more bearable. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.